In the very midst of trials & difficult times, one of the biggest temptations we have is to begin to doubt. We start to doubt ourselves and the people in our lives, we even start to doubt God and His promises over our lives.
We’ve all at some point experienced doubt. I will be the first one to admit, I have doubted time and time again. One of them being about a certain situation I’ve found myself in.
In life, sometimes we have no control over what happens to us. At times we’re left questioning all the why’s and how’s and we start thinking of all the buts and what if’s. This often times results in us feeling quite broken, hurt and empty.
For those who don’t know, I grew up with an eye condition due to a childhood trauma. I had a fall to my head when I was around about one years of age. That fall caused damage to the nerves of my eyes; causing them to cross. I have had two strabismus operations performed on my eyes to realign them. Both operations have been somewhat successful, although they haven’t been entirely 100 percent successful.
Growing up I was bullied for my differences which resulted in me often hating myself. At a moment in time I used to question God & ask Him all the why’s of; why I had to go through this or why didn’t He do anything to stop this from happening. Having crossed/weak eyes isn’t something very pleasant to go through. Especially when you’re a young women with all the added pressures of outward appearance and so on.
I didn’t feel comfortable voicing my doubts and real emotions. Certain thoughts would start going through my mind of why I shouldn’t be feeling like this because others are going through so much more pain and they have much more difficult situations than mine. But for me, moving forward & healing only started to begin when I put the facade down. When I began to be real with God and myself.
I remember one night just letting it all out. “God, why do I have to go through this? Why do I have to be different.”
I then heard His still small voice: “Kerry, I HAVE called you to be Different.”
At that, everything changed. God has indeed Called me to be different. It doesn’t take long to realise that living life as a follower of Jesus already makes us different on this earth, and not just for sake of it, but for His Kingdom and Glory.
Being different, makes a difference. When I knew there was a reason and a purpose behind my circumstances, my journey to embracing being different began.
Going through the fire Isn’t easy, it’s difficult going through hardships. It hurts going through “stuff.” One thing we need to keep at the forefront of our minds is that God doesn’t cause bad things to happen and doubting leads to chains of bondage. He is a good God. Measuring up our disappointing circumstances to the goodness of God will eventually lead us into believing lies about God & His true nature.
If you take anything from this, let it be this.
“God doesn’t cause bad things to happen, but He does eventually cause everything to work out for the good.”
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28 NLT)
If I could go back in time, into that difficult season of my life. If I could go back to that young girl sitting all alone at lunchtimes, I would say to her. Kerry, there is a purpose behind your pain. Take comfort, God hasn’t forgotten about you.
And I say this to you too: There is a purpose behind what you’re going through.
I’m now getting ready to publish a book about my Journey. Because of what I have gone through I have a level of compassion and an understanding to those who are going through similar “stuff”.
Whatever you’re facing right now, know that the very thing that you’re facing…God can turn it around and use it for Good. It may not look like it now, but trust me you will come out stronger, more resilient & a new level of authority will be granted to you like you’ve never had before.
Keep the faith, hold your head up high and just wait and see…there is a purpose for every season. This is God’s word, Gods promise for your life. Believe it & doubt not my friend. We’re in good hands with our God.
In Christ’s Love.